Because I chose them.
Jack sometimes came over and did homework at my dining table.
Emily brought craft supplies and covered my patio with paper, ribbon, glitter, and objects whose purpose remained mysterious.
When they left, I missed them.
That was the difference.
Missing someone after choosing time with them felt very different from resenting time you never chose.
One Wednesday, Emily asked a question while painting a wooden birdhouse.
“Grandma?”
“Yes?”
“Are you still mad about Hawaii?”
Children rarely approach difficult subjects with warning.
I put down my paintbrush.
“I was hurt about Hawaii.”
“That’s what Mom said.”
“What else did she say?”
“That grown-ups made a bad decision.”
I smiled slightly.
“That sounds accurate.”
“Do you forgive them?”
I looked at my granddaughter.
Forgiveness.
Adults make the word complicated.
