WHEN I STOPPED BEING USEFUL: A MOTHER’S JOURNEY BACK TO HER OWN LIFE

“So.”

“So.”

“Are you terrified?”

“Yes.”

“Regret it?”

I considered the question.

“No.”

Linda nodded.

“Good. Then eat your sandwich.”

That afternoon we unpacked dishes while I told her the full story.

I told her about Hawaii.

I told her about the note.

And finally, I told her what I had heard Rebecca say six months earlier.

It’s not really her we need. It’s her money.

Linda stopped unwrapping a glass.

“You never told me that.”

“I was embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“Because I had spent three years telling everyone how wonderful it was living with family.”

“It can have been wonderful and still become something else.”

I sat down.

That sentence settled somewhere deep inside me.

For months I had been rewriting my own memories.

If Rebecca was ungrateful now, perhaps she had always been ungrateful.

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